Thursday, January 19, 2012

Lincoln has Lukemia. Did I really just type that.

Our lives have turned upside down since Tuesday morning. One minute I was getting the boys ready to go to the gym and the next minute I was dropping everything and rushing to the ER. Now here we are, 2 days later and I feel like I am still in a dream...or nightmare rather.

Lincoln has ALL. Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. I don't know too much about the disease other than it is changing our world drastically and it's breaking my heart. The good news is that 85 to 90 percent of kids survive and he is in excellent hands. The bad news is that he is in for a whole lot of pain, discomfort and suffering over the next 2 to 3 years.

Right now he's not doing so well. He's suffering from pain from bone marrow biopsy and Lumbar puncture. At the moment we're waiting for him to go down and get a port inserted into his chest that he'll receive treatment through instead of the IV from now on. He's so hungry and thirsty and keeps asking me for food and milk but he can't eat until after the procedure and it kills me that I can't give him anything. They are taking forever!!!! Try distracting your 2 year old from food and drink for 7 hours after waking up. And after not haven eaten since the morning before.

Last night was bad too. He was in obvious pain and couldn't get comfortable and just wanted to be held. I'm trying to stay strong for him but it's close to impossible to hold my tears in when his are flowing so regularly. He's just so perfect and sweet and innocent and I hate that he has to go through this and I can't explain to him why.

All that sob story being said...we have a lot we are grateful for including a close, wonderful hospital filled with wonderful doctors and nurses, and an amazing support system of incredible friends and family. Thank you all for the many emails and well wishes and offers to help. My parents are driving from Utah now to stay with us indefinitely which we're so grateful for. We definitely recognize these blessings but the fact of the matter is that all those things help Ryan and I and don't take anything away from Lincoln's suffering which is the only thing I want to fix.

Thank you so much for you're continued thoughts and prayers. I'll try and keep people posted on his progress.

23 comments:

DC Diva said...

You are amazing Cheryl. Lincoln is so lucky to have you as his mommy. I love you so much.

Julie Broadbent said...

Cheryl, I am so sorry! We will be sending a lot of prayers your way for the next few years. Good Luck to you and little Lincoln.

Shelly Geller said...

Oh Sweet Cheryl. . . no one else has been on my mind but you the last few days. I swear I justI talked to you. It's simply just so crazy that you never know when it will be you being hit with adversity. Sweet Linc. I can't imagine having my child be in pain for days and months on end. I know what it felt like to have a child in pain for hours before James died. It was the only thing I was worried about was "GET HIM OUT OF PAIN!" My heart breaks for you. Keep your chin up. You are strong and full of compassion. I love you lots lady. Kisses and air hugs from Utah

Steph said...

You r so strong and after talking to you I think u r even stronger than you know!!! This doesn't take way the pain, hurt, anger, or frustration that u have to go thru while watching little links get all these procedures! I pray he can be happy and endure them ad best as a two yr old can, and I know he will feel ur love!!! U r such a good mom, and I pray it gets easier sooner and he responds well to all his treatments!! I love u!!!

Tracy Peterson said...

We love you guys so much! Lincoln is so lucky to have parents like you! I wish that I could come give you a big hug! You guys are constantly in our thoughts and prayers. Let us know what we can do to help! XOXO

Codi said...

It breaks my heart to hear what little Lincoln and your family are going through. We will be praying for you all. Lots of love!

Ligia said...

Cheryl, I'm so sorry to hear of Lincoln's illness. You and your sweet little boy are thought of and prayed for. Wishing you well (hope you don't mind that I linked up from your sis blog).

Sara B. Larson said...

Cheryl, I don't have any words. I can't imagine the pain and suffering your sweet little boy and you are both going through. I am so so sorry that you are all having to deal with such a horrible disease. Life is so precious and can change in a blink of an eye. I'm so glad you have so many who are helping, supporting and loving you guys. We will definitely keep your family in our prayers.

Ali Snow said...

Wow - I can't believe you had time to blog. I'm so sorry you're going through this and I wish I could be there with you. We love you.

Laura@art4littlehands said...

I am a total stalker to your blog. I work out at the gym with you from time to time and somehow a while ago I found your blog and I have been reading it. I had to break out and give you my love. Hope you don't feel weird that I have been reading your blog. I remember a week ago when he threw up on the way to the gym. Oh the poor baby. My brother in law had lukemia as a little boy. Same age. It was such a hard time for their family. I know you are far from home, but also have a lot of support here. I live across the river right on Saxonburg Blvd if you ever need anything from this stranger. Even if you want to talk to my mother in law who knows truly what you are going through. I am so so so sorry. I wish I knew you better and could help you in some way. My heart is breaking. Lincoln will be in my thoughts. I am sending positive vibs out for him right now.

Love,

Laura Williams from the gym.

Desiree Bowen said...

You are such an amazing mother, Cheryl. I can't even begin to imagine going through this with Natalie or Chase. I love you sooo much and you will get through this!! We will definitely pray for your family and will fast we well!!

Kyle and Lindsay M. said...

You are an incredible person and so is Lincoln. He is really lucky to have you. We are thinking about you and praying for you a lot. Love you all.

Heather Ross said...

Cheryl,

Our family will be praying for Lincoln's health and strength for you and Ryan.

Hopefully having your parents around will provide a much-needed, joyful distraction.

Love and positive vibes to the Harris family,
Heather

The Olsons said...

I am so saddened to hear your news. I hope he starts to feel better soon. I am so sorry Ryan & Cheryl, I can't even come up with the words for you. We have some good friend of ours that are a little farther a head of the process than you are and are so full of hope! You guys should read their blog about their journey that started in November. http://robandshawnawilson.blogspot.com/

We are praying and thinking of you guys!

Amanda said...

cheryl i am right along with everyone else. i can't stop thinking about you guys and we are praying like crazy. i'm so sorry you have to go through this. i have always thought you are such a patient, loving and good little momma. you're an inspiration to me! hang in there. please please call if you need ANYTHING!!! loves!!!

Jess said...

I have been in tears since I first heard the news. I can't even imagine what you guys (and especially Lincoln) are going through. I am heartbroken for you! But you are one of the strongest people I've ever met. You are such an amazing, patient mother, and you can do this. We are praying for you and Lincoln, and as always call me if you need anything! I love you!

Jess said...
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Kris R said...

Cheryl,

This is Kris R from your Vygor cardio class. We are all praying for your family, especially Lincoln. If you need ANYTHING, please contact Angelina and she'll let us know what you need... food, babysitting, food shopping, companionship at the hospital etc. You are not alone. I know from talking to you at the gym that your family is your WORLD... please let us help you if there's ANYWAY we can.

Joni said...

Cheryl,

The Des Moines Newmans have you and Lincoln in their prayers. I'll pass word onto my family. May you find the strength and peace you need in the upcoming days and weeks!

Joni Newman

Lisa Weiler said...

Love you Cheryl. You are such a good mom and good example to me, you always have been.

Karie said...

I am so sorry, Cheryl. I am crying with you and wish I could do something. My heart just aches for your little boy. Please let us know what we can do. We would love to fast for Lincoln or anything else that you need us to do. We love you and you are definitely in our hearts and prayers.

Harley King said...

Seriously! Seriously? Was my first reaction. Do you not have enough to deal with already?

The news hit me like a punch to the stomach.

I have faith; I have faith that this trial will make you spiritually stronger. I have faith that it will bring you closer to God and to each other. I have faith that it will only be for a short moment.

And I know you will endure it well.

Rebecca Burningham said...

Grandma called everyone. We're fasting for you guys this Sunday.