Wow. The word Battle doesn't even begin to express what we just experienced. I feel defeated.
Chemotherapy is chemical therapy that consists of a cocktail of several drugs given at different times throughout treatment. They all have side effects. So far almost everything has been given to him through his port directly into his body. When we go home I will have to continue to give him drugs by mouth. One of which is steroid called Decadron. Because I have to give it to him at home they started having us practice giving it to him by mouth here. We started last night. We crushed the pill and put it in a spoonful of pudding. He took it great and we were thrilled. This morning Ryan gave it to him and I wasn't here but he said he only fought it for about a minute but was easily bribed. Tonight was a different story.
He has caught on to the fact that the pill makes the pudding disgusting. We started trying at 8. We bribed him with candy. We tried reasoning with him. We pleaded with him. He absolutely refused to eat it and screamed and cried at the suggestion. We took away his blanket. We took away his pacifier. We wouldn't give him his drink. I threatened to leave and then I left. That was devastating for him. I sat outside the hospital room and listening to him cry and beg for mommy to come back. Finally, at 10 pm after two hours of exhaustion for all three of us, Ryan physically forced it down Lincoln's mouth and throat. That drug is administered twice a day for the next 3 weeks. It's not fair that we have to be so mean to him and make him eat awful, horrible pills. I can't believe we have to do that again in ten hours. I hate it. But he is quick to forgive. So quick to forgive.
Ryan is amazing. This whole time he has been so strong and level headed. He has been at Lincoln's side as much as I have. He has been so patient. He has been so loving, so encouraging. I don't know what I would have done without him tonight. I really don't. I'm so glad we're in this together.