Monday, October 1, 2012

Big News–Baby Number 3

That’s right.  In early April Sawyer will be a Best Big Bro too and it’s pretty exciting.  I’m 13 weeks and starting to feel a little bit better, but I will say the past two months I have felt horrible.  I’m glad I’m getting this in writing because I always forget how awful it is.  Ryan tries to remind me but I don’t believe him.  Mommy amnesia at it’s best. 

I don’t know that I’ve felt that much worse than I did with my other pregnancies, I think it was just so awful because of everything else horrible that was the past two months in addition to the pregnancy sickness.  I can honestly say it was in so many ways the hardest, most challenging time of my life.  Having a sick child is miserable.  Especially when he’s on steroids having crazy tantrums and you’re spoon feeding him the same nauseating foods every hour for days, and up all night when you’re exhausted.  It was bad.  Really, really bad.  A big thank you to the amazing friends who helped me through.  Friends who I’d only known for a few weeks in most cases.  I can’t tell you what you mean to me and how grateful I am for your kindness and love.

Ryan tried to warn me and wanted to wait to try to get pregnant until Lincoln was in maintenance phase, but the crazy inside me thought I could do it and it wouldn’t be that bad…..and what if it took us years or 5 miscarriages to have success?  And I hated that Lincoln’s sickness was controlling our family planning.  I didn’t want it to take away from the potential big, close in age family I wanted.  In retrospect would I have waited…?  Ask me in a few years when mommy amnesia sets in :)   All I can say is right now things are so much better because Lincoln and I both feel better – so now we can be happy.  And these two definitely are.P1050443 (1280x1068)P1050449 (971x1280)P1050447 (927x1280)

P1050451 (830x1280)

In other news, Lincoln has had 3 weeks of delays now in his treatment and goes in tomorrow to see if his blood counts are high enough to start the second half of Phase 4.   I hope it is.  I want to get him into maintenance.  It’s right around the corner.  If his counts are up and he’s able to start they’ll slam him with a bunch of chemo and a spinal tap on Wednesday and then lots of pills and chemo for 28 days and then maintenance.  I’m gearing up mentally and physically.  I really hate it.  It’s so hard seeing him feel so good and normal and knowing that it has to end with another round of chemo.  But, I try and remember how much worse it could be.  How he hasn’t relapsed.  How he’s doing well.  How I have incredible support.  How what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.  How Heavenly Father guides and directs all things, and so no matter what happens it will be okay.

13 comments:

Mom said...

I love this post on so many levels. I am so excited about baby #3 and so hopeful that Lincoln can get started again on Wednesday. The end is in sight, maintenance is around the corner and new beginnings to look forward to in April. Grateful for these blessings. I'm crying tears of joy for a change and it feels so good.

Amanda said...

Mommy amnesia is really such a blessing. Being in the thick of early pregnancy right with you I can attest at how miserable it feels. I cannot imagine also trying to care for a sick child as you have been doing for this entire pregnancy. And not just fever, cold, kind of sick either. You are Super Woman!!! Congratulations to you, Ryan and the boys... I can't wait to find out what this little Harris babe will be!

Jess said...

Congrats Harris family! This super exciting news! Sorry you haven't felt very well. I hope everything goes uphill from here!

Ming said...

I can barely get out of bed to care for my healthy children when I'm pregnant. I do not know how you did it. You truly are amazing!! I'm so sorry for how hard it was, but am thrilled you are out of those dark days and have so much to look forward to. Way to keep on living.

Heather said...

What wonderful news! I'm so excited for you and so glad to know that your family has something this happy and amazing to look forward to.

April 8th is a pretty great day. (It's Bradford's birthday!)

Hope you have a healthy pregnancy!

XO!

DC Diva said...

I'm SO excited you're having a baby. Good, good, GREAT thing! Did you notice the baby-having pattern in our family? Wendy, Cheryl, Ali, Wendy, Cheryl, Ali: Anderson, Lincoln, Hannah, Max, Sawyer, Jackson, Bennett...??? Ali, you're up. ;)

I had this thought last night about you: everything that comes from Heavenly Father is good and He gives us nothing we can't handle. He gave you this wonderful, blessed pregnancy at exactly this time because it is supposed to be this way for your family. If you couldn't handle it, it wouldn't be. The timing is exactly where it should be, even if it's not what you planned (later than your ideal) and even if it has totally sucked for 2 months (making you wonder if you should have waited longer). I can't believe you did this... went through that awful 1st trimester WHILE dealing with Lincoln on steroids... but you did it! You not only CAN do hard things, you DO HARD THINGS! And you amaze all of us while doing it.

I agree! Hate that your family planning has had to revolve around this crisis. So happy for this JOY to look forward too. So many better times ahead. I'm thrilled to be an aunt again! I love you and your entire family of 5!! (whoa)

Emily said...

Cheryl...I think you are the most amazing person ever. Someday I want to be like you. and CONGRATS!! I'm sooo excited for you! I wish more than anything I would be down there to help out and to see this new little harris! buut...If you call me (maybe give me a day or two heads up) before you head to the hospital, i'll come babysit. ;)

Austin LaBanc said...

OH I love those pictures of Sawyer and Lincoln! This is just so exciting. I can't wait for baby #3. I can't believe how hard this first trimester must have been. Wendy put it all very well though, this is such a blessing. You are awesome. This is lisa on Austin's account

Doug and Leslie said...

So excited for you! I can't imagine being pregnant and dealing with all of that stuff with Lincoln. Way to go! And congrats!

Jill said...

Congrats on baby #3 Cheryl. You are amazing!

mike said...

So Happy!!! I love being a Grandpa.

And so proud of your attitude.

Love Dad

Heather said...

Congratulations! That's so exciting! Glad to hear Lincoln is feeling better, even if just for a short time. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and with starting the chemo in a bit.

Ben said...

Congrats you guys!