Yikes, Less than a month!

Wow…the final days are approaching before baby Harris #2 arrives.  Words cannot express how completely different things have been this time around.  Lincoln’s pregnancy dragged and seemed like an eternity.  I had a count-down started on my calendar over a hundred days before my due date.  This one has come and gone in the blink of an eye -  understandably so given the two opposite pregnancy circumstances.  With Lincoln I’d been trying to get pregnant and stay pregnant for years.  This time it was a surprise after having a baby 3 months earlier and still recovering and adjusting to that.  Since then I’ve had Lincoln occupying me this whole pregnancy, so I’ve hardly given Baby 2 a second thought.  Do I feel guilty about this?  Yes.  Although I feel like this is normal.  Baby 2 is getting the short end of the stick in a lot of ways.  He’ll be in a pack and play rather than a lush crib like Lincoln.  His room’s smaller and not nearly as decorated.  He’ll have to share my attention with Lincoln.  The list goes on and on.  However, I am the second child in my family, but I still feel loved and think I turned out alright, so I’m not too worried about it.  I know I’ll love him just as much and he’ll have a big brother to entertain him everyday.  That’s something Lincoln hasn’t had this year.

Do I feel ready?  Materials wise…yes, just need to buy diapers and get out the newborn clothes.  Mentally, physically, emotionally?  Not-so-much.  I’m pretty nervous about the whole thing.  Lincoln’s quite demanding – he doesn’t even walk yet and won’t hold his own bottle - and Ryan’s very busy.  I was pretty much a stress case the first few months with Lincoln and was at home with the help of my mom and family until he was 3 months old.  I’m petrified of nursing and of getting mastitis from hell again. I don’t even really want to try it but feel like I should.  These are my feelings.  Do I feel guilty for not being over the moon excited like I was with Lincoln?  Yes.  Am I grateful that I at least I am having another successful pregnancy because for the longest time that’s all I wished and prayed for?  Yes.   

Another example of the differences in pregnancies…documentation.  With Lincoln I had my sister take a ton of maternity pictures of me about half way through my pregnancy and then my good friend Emily take

these more professional pictures the week of my delivery.  And I had monthly pics my husband would snap of my growing belly.  This pregnancy…..zero pictures!  I’m really fine with it and over the whole pregnant picture thing, but for those of you who have been asking for it and in an attempt to be somewhat fair to baby #2 (not that I really think he’ll care. Do any of you care if you do or don’t have pictures of your mom when she was pregnant with you?) here I am….37 weeks along.